


Side Effects of Being an Auditore

by Assassin_J



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: A bit of Maria/Altaïr/Malik, Bisexual Ezio Auditore, Eventual Smut, Ezio's grandpas are OCs, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Male Pregnancy, Mario lives into his 80s here bc I said so, Multi, No Assbabies only Assassin Babies, Referenced Transphobia (brief), References to AC Odyssey, References to AC Rebellion, Slightly altered canon, Threesome - F/M/M, Trans Characters, Trans Man Jacob Frye, asscreedkinkmeme, fluff-ish, gender stuff is there but it's not the main point, medication abortions, somewhat canon compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2020-05-07 08:40:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19205839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assassin_J/pseuds/Assassin_J
Summary: The genes for Eagle Vision have other impacts as well. For one thing, the assassin becomes capable of carrying children; no matter their apparent sex. The Ones Who Came Before had a different method of reproducing, a method which lacked a sexual binary. Some of this biology carried down through the millennia to their hybrid offspring.Thus, Ezio was the bearer of Flavia and Marcello.(based onthis promptalthough not following it 100%)





	1. "Questa famiglia tiene un altro segreto."

"Sofia, I must tell you something." He sat down on the cushioned bench with her, embracing her soft hands with his weathered ones.

She looked at his hands for a half-second and then into his eyes. "It's about your illness, isn't it?"

He smiled, and gave her hands a brief squeeze. Sofia was such a good wife, she never failed to notice even small things like the change in his appetite over the past week, and the near-stumbles as he made his way around their home. He really could not let another day pass without informing her.

 

* * *

 

It had happened before, a few times, in his younger years.

The first time he had been scarcely seventeen. He hadn't known what it was at the time. But apparently his dear Mamma had recognized some sign. She put him into bed and had him drink a glass of cloudy medicine, which made his gut cramp and empty itself painfully later that day.

"You are too young and irresponsible for this, Ezio," Giovanni told him the next morning.

"I'm sorry Papà," he said automatically.

Giovanni smiled a gentle smile. "It's all right. You didn't know. Your mother has explained it now, yes?"

Ezio didn't want any lecture on venereal diseases; he knew the concept well enough from conversations with his chums. So he lied: "Yes, she told me all about it."

"Bene. So you must be more prudent from now on," Giovanni said, and presented him with a thin linen sheath and a small diagram illustrating its purpose.

Ezio tried the sheath next time he bedded a woman. It was quite a different experience going sheathed versus going bare. He didn't love it, but the memory of the vertigo and vomiting from whatever sickness he caught last time was fresh in his mind, and he didn't want a repeat of that experience.

He used the sheath diligently for the better part of a year (washing it between times, of course) and it served the purpose; he never caught another instance of the vertigo and vomiting. The ladies were enthused at the novelty of it, anyway.

 

* * *

 

When the dark day came where his family was targeted and his house ransacked, the sheath hidden under his bed was the furthest thing from his mind. His days were consumed with grief and anger as he worked to understand who had done this.

One night at La Rosa Colta, he let himself take comfort in the bed of one of the women working there. She was a dark brown beauty hailing from Greece, by the name of Amaryllis, with a smile that seemed to know the world. Ezio forgot his hatred of the Pazzi while he shared in her ample body. That night was a wonderful escape, as sweet as the scent of the flower that bore her name.

The next morning Ezio realized that he had gone without the penile sheath. It was back in his family home which was now under constant watch. He thought he should go to Madame Paola and ask if she had such an item he could use next time. But when he tried to go and see her, he found himself stuck frozen outside the door to her office, his heart pounding and his face burning.

He stood there for a stupidly long time, until the door opened and Paola appeared, saying, "What in the world are you waiting for, Ezio?"

"I- I..." _She is the head of a whorehouse, surely she has so much experience of sexual matters that it won't upset her._ "I need..." He tried gesturing a shape in the air.

"Che cosa?"

"Una cosa per... prevention of disease," Ezio finally said, pulling his hands behind his back.

Paola smiled with realization. "Oh, figliolo." She patted his shoulder. "All of my girls here are kept well free of disease. Our bouncers and dottores make sure of that."

A great weight lifted from Ezio's head. "So I don't need to wear a sheath?"

"A what?"

"It is... made of linen, or silk perhaps," Ezio stammered. "And it has something infused into it which keeps disease from passing."

"What a novel invention." Paola laughed, a sound like a bell rolling down a hill. "Ah, mie scuse Ezio, your family may be rich enough to wrap their pricks in treated linen or special silk, but the rest of Italy isn't so well off." She patted his shoulder. "My girls are clean, I promise. Although... does the sheath prevent the woman falling pregnant?"

"...I don't know," Ezio had to admit.

"Well, I will investigate the matter. Although we have alternative ways to prevent that, it is good to know the options." She patted his shoulder once more.

 

* * *

 

Ezio and Amaryllis enjoyed several more nights over the next couple weeks. He was glad to have an outlet for his stress and tension, which was so very high due to his new life as a wanted man. Her hands were so good on the knotted muscles in his back and thighs, and on his member as well.

But then one day it all went to shit. After he killed the vile traitor Uberto Alberti, a swarm of Pazzi guards surrounded him and he had to grab the first horse he saw and flee the city. He rode north for many miles, pursued all the way. Finally, when his steed was tiring, he turned round to face his death valiantly.

Vieri, the scumbag, was at the head of the pack. "Buongiorno, Ezio! How could you leave Firenze without saying a proper goodbye?" he taunted, attacking fiercely with his sword. "My condolences for the loss of your father and brothers." He laughed viciously. "What will happen now that there's no one left to help you?"

"Vaffanculo!" Ezio sneered, parrying the hits as best he could with his bracer.

Vieri shook his head. "I grow tired of this game. Finish him!"

Two of Vieri's minions grabbed hold of Ezio and Vieri prepared to drive his sword through the last of the Auditore men.

But from out of the darkness, knives flew through the air. One of them caught Vieri in the arm, making him drop his weapon. The other two slit the throats of the men holding Ezio.

"What sorcery is this?!" Vieri spat, scrambling for his sword.

"Not sorcery, boy. Skill!" shouted a jolly voice. Several men appeared in the shadows. A burly one of them called out to Ezio, "Here!" and tossed a sword at his feet.

Ezio grabbed the sword and sliced across Vieri's face. It was what the bastard deserved.

 

* * *

 

Uncle Mario took Ezio in to the stronghold of Monteriggioni. "Did you know the Villa Auditore is almost 200 years old? It was built by my great-grandfather, Domenico. A grand Assassin, who carried all kinds of secrets."

"Disculpe," Ezio interjected, "Domenico was a what? Assassin?"

Mario looked at him. "I thought you'd come here to train?"

"No, uncle. I came here to escape Firenze. Did you not hear? They executed Father for treason. Federico and Petruccio too."

Mario's jaw clenched briefly. "Yes, it is infuriating and terrible."

"If you would fetch Mother and Claudia, I would like to take them further away still. I don't feel we are safe yet."

"But what about your father? He'd want you to finish his work."

Ezio didn't get it. "What work? My father was a banker."

Mario shifted his posture, looking at Ezio in a fresh light. "Wait... He did not tell you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Come, then. I must tell you straight away." Mario turned down a hall and guided Ezio into an office. He took a seat and waited until Ezio was seated as well. "Our family carries another secret, nipote. Are you familiar with the Templars? One of several Knightly orders formed during the Crusades?"

Under different circumstances, Ezio would have wondered why Mario said _another_ secret. But right now, with his mind spinning in confusion and adrenaline, he didn't pick up on it.


	2. "È la verità assoluta, lo giuro."

**1512**

"Sofia." He kissed her lips lightly.

As he pulled his head away, she wiped a beginning tear from her eye. "Ezio. I don't want to lose you."

"Oh, amore, you aren't going to lose me," Ezio said, squeezing her hands again. "For you see... the 'illness' you have noticed is actually nothing of the sort!"

"That is plainly false, I have heard you vomiting even!"

"Listen, please, this is an unusual thing, but..." Ezio took a deep breath, thinking one last time on how he should word it. "I am not ill. I am with child."

Sofia stared at him. Then, she laughed softly, her eyes watering. "No, please, dear, tell me the truth."

Ezio smiled. "I am telling you the truth."

"Ezio, you are not serious."

"I am quite serious, Sofia," he said, looking into her eyes so that she could see no joking glint. "The House of Auditore has this oddity. In our bloodline, the men as well as the women can fall pregnant."

She blinked, and then glanced down briefly. "But how is such a thing possible? I know quite well what parts make up your body, Ezio!"

Ezio gestured across his lower abdomen. "You have not seen the parts inside."

"I have seen anatomical diagrams! By your own friend da Vinci!"

"He has never dissected and studied an Auditore, has he now?" Ezio said with a big grin.

"Come now, Ezio!" Sofia stood up angrily. "This is obscene. You can't expect me to really believe you are with child!"

"Amore, per favore-"

"And who has fathered it, then, if you are to be a mother?" she asked, scowling, her hands on her hips.

He tossed his hands up. "You have!"

"Honestly? How does that work?"

Ezio rubbed his head. "My best understanding is that, when I take someone to bed, my body takes in some essence from that person. Through the skin."

"Ezioooo." Sofia turned away, crossing her arms.

"Amore, I know it is unusual, I said as much!" He stood up, slowly, knowing that in his current condition he could lose balance easily. Then he put his hands lightly on her waist. "Bella mia.... I did not believe it either when I was young."

 

* * *

 

**1477**

Ezio approached the training ground at the front of Villa Auditore. Mario and several of his pals were already there, practicing sparring. "Uncle Mario," he called out, "I... I can't train today."

"Whyever not, m'boy?"

"I'm sick with something."

"Oh?" Mario turned from his group of men and looked at his nephew.

"I've had it before, though I don't know what it's called." Ezio rubbed at his mouth, which still tasted of sour acid.

"I'll escort you to the dottore," Mario said. "Come with me."

Ezio followed him down the steps of the Villa Auditore. "I can't believe this happened. The madame told me her girls were all clean!"

"Which madame?"

"Madame Paola, in Firenze. I slept with one of her courtesans-"

"You left Firenze weeks and weeks ago! You've had the clap all this time?"

Ezio shook his head. "It began just this past week. And it can't be the clap. I have no warts or bumps. But I feel light-headed, and I vomit right after rising from bed. What kind of odd sickness is this which develops a month late, and the cure for which makes me piss blood?"

Mario stopped so suddenly that Ezio bumped into him.

"Uncle, what?!" He was scared that perhaps Mario had spotted Templars in the town street.

Mario turned around and put a hand on Ezio's shoulder. "Sounds like there is another big thing that Giovanni didn't tell you."

"Cazzo!" Ezio kicked the dirt. "What now?!"

Mario sighed. "I will tell you all the details, when we return from the dottore."

 

* * *

 

Mario knocked on the dottore's window, and it opened shortly. The doctor was a thin tall man, with light brown skin and dark brown eyes behind wire spectacles. "Buongiorno signore. Cosa ti serve?" he asked, a hint of Arab accent coloring the words.

"Buongiorno, Dottore. One of my men has gotten his girl with child, and they already have five living ones," Mario said, and Ezio stared at him like he'd turned into a talking purple horse.

"Ah, I understand. Has it quickened yet?" the dottore asked.

Mario looked at Ezio. "Nipote, you spoke to her. Did it quicken yet?"

"Scusi, what?"

"Quickening," the dottore said, "the time when the limbs have formed and the woman feels them moving within her."

Ezio blinked blankly.

After an awkward silence, Mario said to the doctor, "I will go obtain more details and then return for your advice, Dottore. Grazie." Then he turned and beckoned Ezio to follow him back.

Ezio looked at the doctor one more time, completely confused.

The dottore leaned over the shop sill to speak in a half-whisper to him. "There is a procedure I can do if she already felt quickening, young messere, but it is... more involved, and less pleasant."

"Understood," Ezio managed to say, although he very much did not understand. "Grazie," he said with a small bow, and hastened after his uncle.

"Uncle! What was that about?!"

"We will talk when we reach the office of the Villa," Mario said, looking at Ezio with some concern.

They stopped by the training area and Mario told his compatriots to carry on for the day without him. Then they went back into Mario's study, the place where he had told Ezio about the ancient secret war their family was a part of. "Sit down, nipote," Mario said, taking a seat himself. "This will probably be rough to hear."

Ezio did not sit down. "Che cazzo è? And what was all that nonsense at the doctor's?" He was flummoxed and nervewracked. He felt that he might throw up again.

"Sit down," Mario repeated.

Ezio leaned toward Mario, hands on the desk. "Uncle, please! Explain!"

Mario sighed. "The illness you have is pregnancy."

Ezio drew in a breath and attempted to say something, but found that he could only choke and sputter. He coughed, sour bile rising in his throat again.

With a tiny smile, Mario stood up and went to thump him on the back. "Mi dispiace. I suppose Giovanni was going to tell you eventually."

Ezio coughed again and spat a mouthful of something onto the desk. It was greenish-yellow, with brown bits in it.

"Oh here, come on," Mario said, pulling Ezio along out of the study to the back courtyard. "Just, just sit down, relax." He sat Ezio down on the grass beside a well, and started hauling up a bucket of water. "You are already seventeen, yes? My idiot brother shouldn't have waited so long, especially with the way you cavort around."

Ezio barfed up another splot. "Uncle, I... I cannot be _pregnant_."

"Believe it, nipote." Mario put a bucket down beside Ezio. "There you go."

Ezio cupped his hands and drank water to rinse his mouth. When that was done, he just sat there and breathed heavily.

With a laborious sound, Mario sat down near him. "You must tell me, Ezio. Have you felt any movements? Any small stirring in your gut?"

"No, Uncle, I haven't, I can't be pregnant, how is this possible?"

"All right, it hasn't quickened yet, this makes things easier."

"This is a very bad prank, Uncle!" Ezio snarled at him.

"Dear boy, I am sincerely sorry," Mario said. "This is no prank at all. Every Auditore man has the capacity to fall pregnant."

Frightened, Ezio put a hand over his stomach. "How is this possible?" he asked again, his voice more quiet.

"There is a womb, just as in a woman," Mario said. "My father Barnaba discovered this."

"You are joking."

"Look, boy," Mario said gruffly. "You said you had this illness before. How did it resolve?"

"Mother gave me a medicine," Ezio mumbled.

"And then what?"

"Then I drank it, obviously!"

"And _then_ what? Ah ah, don't answer, because I _know_. You had stomach cramps and pissed thick blood, but you were cured soon after." Mario's voice gentled, and he patted Ezio's shoulder. "Caro nipote. I've gone through the same thing."

Startled, Ezio looked up into his face.

"What she gave you is a medicine to clear the womb. And that blood was a yet-unformed life."

"Cazzo," Ezio said softly.

Mario smiled a little smile again. "Now you know _both_ the long-standing secrets of our family."

 

* * *

 

**1512**

"It's the absolute truth, I swear," Ezio said, putting his hand over his heart. "If you still do not believe this, you can ask Uncle Mario yourself. ...Or you can just wait a couple months until it becomes obvious," he added with a smirk, passing the hand downward to his abdomen.

Sofia stared at him for a bit. "I believe I will write a letter to Mario," she said.

"Va bene," Ezio said, chuckling. "You will believe soon enough, amore mio."


	3. "Più conosciamo del mondo e meno sembriamo saperne."

_10 settembre 1512_

_Saluti, Messere Mario. I hope this letter finds you in good health and fair spirits._

_I am writing to you to inquire about a particular sickness which Ezio has shown recently and of which he will not divulge the true nature._

_It began a fortnight ago, or perhaps a few days more. He becomes unbalanced when walking about the house or outside, very noticeably different than his usual ease of movement. To hide this from me, he has taken to moving more slowly._

_Additionally, when he leaves our bed in the morning he has often headed straight outside to empty his stomach. It is as if he were a chronic and overindulgent drunk – but I know that, though he still enjoys wine, he has not taken more than a small glass at a time since our anniversary this midsummer._

_To my inquiries, he jokes that he is in the beginning stages of pregnancy, and he will not give up the joke. Messere Mario, I fear it is some poison. If the indications grow worse, I will of course contact a doctor, but for some reason Ezio asked that I write to you first._

_Please reply with haste,_

_Sofia_

A rough laugh made its way up and out of the old condottiero as he read the last paragraph. He folded the letter up small, slipped it into his shirt pocket, and stood up.

"Claudia!" he called out, going to the hall. "Your brother's got interesting news! Like to come with me to pay him a visit?"

 

* * *

 

**1477**

When Mario came back to the villa half-an-hour later with a bottled concoction, Ezio was still sitting beside the well. By then Ezio had drank most of the bucket's water, slowly, as he pondered the situation. He was achingly aware of his blood pounding in his veins and his breath swirling in his lungs.

"Here, nipote," Mario said gently, holding out the bottle. "If you are done vomiting for this morning."

Moving sluggishly, Ezio took the brown-glass bottle from his uncle. A mint smell wafted out of the bottle when he uncorked it, and he suddenly recalled a similar smell had been in the medicament his mother gave him previously.

"I don't know if it's the [mint](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mentha_pulegium) that does it," Mario mused, "or if that's simply added to make the taste more agreeable."

"Uncle... What if I do not drink it?"

Mario snorted. "Then the child will take root and grow in you, of course. For the better part of a year. And then you'll give it birth. Have you ever been near someone birthing? Have you any idea what that's like?"

Ezio shook his head at both questions.

"Well it's a fucking ordeal," Mario said. He then laughed brightly, taking a seat on the well. "Ehi, nipote, how old were you when Petruccio was born?"

Ezio had set the bottle down by now, the cork back in the neck. "I don't recall offhand. It was... It was winter, I know that much."

"Quite young, then. So young that you don't remember it was your father who bore him!"

"Wait, what?!" Ezio swung his head around to stare at Mario.

"Oh yes. I remember Gio saying he'd thought the 'special gift' had left him, since his three children before had all fallen to Maria." Mario laughed again. "Cavolo, he was wrong about that!"

The thought of his father and brother brought sudden tears to Ezio's eyes, and he turned away, head sagging.

At seeing this, Mario's laughter cut short. "Ohh, mi dispiace, nipote." He put his hand on Ezio's shaking shoulder. "We're going to fight back. We're going to make them pay."

"R-right." Ezio rubbed the tears from his face and grit his teeth. "I feel so.... Ugh!"

"Don't be ashamed," Mario said, patting him solidly. "Being pregnant makes you feel the emotions of two people."

 

* * *

 

**1512**

Ezio sat up from his bed, groaning. His lower back and his chest ached like he had been lifting heavy crates, rather than sleeping. "Cazzo, little one, you are already causing me to hurt," he muttered, "and you are not even large enough to prove your existence."

A warbler warbled on the branch outside their bedroom window. Ezio glanced that way, and saw the sun was already well up into the sky. In the distance there were people and horses going along the roads. "Mio Dio. Che ore sono?"

"It is near noon. Povero caro, you really are ill."

Ezio turned and blinked the sleep-fuzz from his vision so he could see his beloved clearly. She was wearing a dress the same shade of light-brown as the warbler bird, but much more delightful to look at. 

"I tried to wake you, but-"

"You could not, yes." Ezio stretched his legs off the bed and yawned.

"Ezio. I really do worry."

"Sofia. I am _fine_."

"Last night you fell asleep while I was trying to lie with you," she said, a tremble in her voice, almost angry.

Immediately contrite, Ezio put his face in his hands. Oh, what a blow to his manhood this was.

"Something is terribly wrong if _Ezio Auditore_ does not have the energy to bed a woman," she continued, punctuating the words with her hands.

Ezio looked up. "Sofia, my love, I am so so sorry."

"You must see a doctor!" she declared. "Especially if you ever want to have a child for real." As she spoke, she went to the dresser, pulled pants and a shirt out, and threw them into his lap.

Ezio sighed and began to get dressed. 

 

* * *

 

"I don't know that I could ride into town in this state without vomiting," Ezio said as Sofia was saddling up one of their horses, Aglaia.

"Sei serio? Bene, I will go ask the doctor to come here."

"Bene," Ezio said back to her. In his mind he was going over the possibilities of what diagnosis the doctor might come up with. Would he want to give Ezio medication? What if an improper medication damaged the forming life?

Sofia got astride Aglaia and looked back at him, sitting there on a hayblock. "Please don't do anything stupid before I get back. Ti amo."

He grinned. "Ti amo anch'io."

She smiled a little, and started off toward town. The sky was clear and the sun was bright.

Not even ten minutes later, she thought she saw two familiar faces on horseback coming down an intersecting roadway. "Davvero?! Messere Mario! Signora Claudia!"

"Salve!" Mario called strongly in response, waving at her.

Sofia urged her horse over to meet them. "Messere Mario, did you receive my letter?"

"Absolutely! That's why we are here!"

"He's not gotten any better. I'm on my way now to fetch a doctor."

"Ohh?" A small smirk grew on Mario's face. "And have you got a nice bribe to keep the doctor quiet?"

"Keep the doctor quiet?"

"It's a family secret after all."

"What _are_ you talking about?"

Mario turned to Claudia. "I suppose we have to show her the books."

"Books? What?"

"Come on, we can show you at your villa," Claudia said, and she was also mildly smirking. "It's all right. I know it sounds mad."

"Are you saying that he really- Oddio, questa follia!"

With a boisterous laugh, Mario kicked his horse into gear and started down the road Sofia had come from. Claudia gestured for Sofia to follow, and she did, after some seconds of consternation.

 

* * *

 

When Ezio saw his uncle and sister approaching the villa, he got up and came to greet them. "Uncle! Claudia! Oh it's so good to see you, la mia famiglia." He threw his arms around each of them in turn as they dismounted. "You came because of Sofia's letter, si?

"Of course!" Mario said, beaming. "So you are going ahead with it, yes?"

"Si, si, a Dio piacendo!"

While they were chatting, Sofia directed Aglaia back into the stable with Mario and Claudia's horses. After this was done she came up to Claudia. "Did you read the letter as well?"

"It was private to Mario only so I did not, but he told me the main point; Ezio is expecting."

Sofia shook her head a little in clinging disbelief. "You mentioned showing me books. What books?"

Claudia took two thin tomes out of her side bag. They were bound in faint blue paper and looked to be journals. "These are the writings of Barnaba Auditore and Placido Auditore."

Mario noticed Claudia had the journals out. "Come, everyone, let's go sit and look at them properly."

"I remember these!" Ezio crowed, pointing at the journals.

 

* * *

 

**1477**

"Uncle Mario," Ezio said, poking his head into the condottiero's office. "I have a concern."

"Come in, nipote. How can I help?"

Ezio settled into a chair. "Um... You said Petruccio was born of my father?"

"Yes. I remember vividly! I was there at your house to keep you other kids busy while Maria helped him."

"Was that... the cause for his being so sickly?"

Merio chuckled. "Oh I doubt that! If men-born children were all sickly, then myself and your father would not be the robust specimens we are!"

Ezio's brain froze a moment and his jaw dropped. "Y-you and Papà... were..."

"Borne by our father Placido Auditore," Mario said proudly, "who was himself borne by Renato Auditore."

Ezio rubbed his head. "But did you not say before that your father was named Barnaba?"

"Barnaba was the other one of our fathers." Mario stood up and got a blue-covered book from the shelf behind his desk. "He and Placido lived a somewhat sheltered life here."

"I have an entire other grandfather I didn't know about...." 

"Perhaps Giovanni didn't think you would understand it." Mario sighed, a bit fondly, a bit sadly. "Society in general never knew of Barnaba Auditore. He was even estranged from his own parents, who wished for him to be a woman."

Today was a day _full_ of confusion for Ezio. "Why would someone wish their son to be a woman?"

"Nature gave him by error a womanly body. Such things happen, although it is not widely spoken of."

Ezio gritted his teeth and thought about cursing God for making such mistakes, the same as the mistake of allowing his innocent father and brothers to die.

"So through his upbringing, his parents believed him woman, but Barnaba himself knew better. He was fully a man, and not only that, he was a man's man." Mario looked up from the book to Ezio. "You get the meaning of that?"

"I... think so?"

"In general society they say 'sodomite', but that's rather demeaning."

"Right," Ezio nodded. "A man who only lies with men." He could never fathom why this harmless behavior was forbidden by lawmakers and priests.

"Right. So he eventually found his way to the Assassins and found a husband in Placido. Barnaba did not ever wish to bear children, so Placido took that burden on himself, with his Auditore nature." Mario opened the blue journal and turned it to Ezio. "You may read the details if you wish."

 

* * *

 

**1512**

Sofia read the pages that were pointed out to her. Barnaba Auditore had been a very scholarly man, especially in physicking, and it showed (among other places) in the detail of his words about his husband's pregnancies. He favored short paragraphs, but each snippet of text was powerful enough. Some other day, she might like to revisit this journal and immerse herself in the poems and recipes and descriptions of Mario and Giovanni as children, but today she had a single focus. With every page her eyes grew wider. 

Soon she reached the entry where Barnaba noted the passing of his father-in-law, Renato Auditore.

    _My love is nearly inconsolable. I wish that I could do more for him. We are spending long hours in bed, simply holding each other._

_Perhaps if I had not dissected his padre, he would not have sunk so low in grief. But it was Placido's own suggestion, for the good of future Auditore, to understand that different bodily nature._

_Earlier today I was going to throw the illustrations into the fire, but his madre stopped me. She is right. To destroy the results will not undo the dissection._

_Our children and their children should have this information, for their own protection and wellbeing, the same as they should know of the Soldiers of the Temple. Equally so, our own family line must safeguard these facts, and no-one else._

There followed a part of the journal that had been torn out and then carefully pasted back in. It was a four-page section of illustrations with annotations: a man's body cut open, with a pear-shaped organ among the intestines labeled _L'utero_. When Sofia reached this part, she closed her eyes suddenly and placed the journal back down. "Per tutti i diavoli," she said.

"Ha-ha!" laughed Mario. "What language, from a signora!"

"Sofia. Do you still think it is a joke?" Ezio asked, quiet and slow.

"No," she said, taking his hand without opening her eyes. "I am sorry, Ezio."

"There's no need for apology," Claudia said. "It is a rather fantastic thing to be told."

Sofia looked over at Ezio and smiled. "The more we learn about the world, the less we seem to know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Mio Dio. Che ore sono?" - My God. What time is it?  
> "Povero caro" - Poor dear  
> "Oddio, questa follia!" - Oh God, what madness!  
> "Per tutti i diavoli." - "By all the devils" (or, less literally, "Bloody hell")


	4. "Non parliamo di quel dettaglio durante un pasto."

At Ezio's invitation, Mario and Claudia ended up staying for a while. Claudia penned a letter to her husband and daughter back at the Villa Auditore, explaining that Sofia and Ezio needed some assistance with various vinyard tasks.

That was true, in a way. Ezio had used to taste-test their wines and grapes, "but now I cannot stomach it," he explained as they were sitting at dinner that night.

"How terrible, this child of vinyard owners is no lover of wine," Mario said with a laugh.

"It is nothing peculiar to this child," Claudia said. "I had the same when I was expecting Flora. The dottore told me that acidic food and drink, which are injurious to a preborn child, will be naturally rejected by a mother's body."

"Ooof, and a father's body as well," said Ezio. He touched his stomach. "Mi dispiace, little one, I will abstain from alcohol for you."

Sofia set her glass down and cleared her throat. "Speaking of a father's body... I need to know this: Where will the child exit his body from?"

Mario looked at her, a glint in his eye.

Before he could speak, though, Claudia elbowed him. "Let's not discuss that detail during a meal."

"I have a strong stomach," Sofia protested, "I'm no delicate flower that will faint at the mention of anatomy."

"Mio amore," Ezio said, patting her arm, "Your stomach is strong, but right now mine is not." He gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Nipote," Mario said curiously, "did I not already tell you how it works in your youth?"

"Yes, Uncle, but I don't want to hear it again right this moment," Ezio answered quickly. He returned to eating his tortellini. Sofia had shot a quail and stuffed its meat into the little pasta shells as a special dinner for this special day. It was served in a heavily-herbed tomato sauce; the herbs smelled stronger than usual tonight, possibly due to his current condition. "Tell me, how fares the Brotherhood? And Monteriggioni?"

"The Brotherhood is doing well," Claudia answered. "I'm still no great fan of Messere Ariosto, but he hasn't caused any problems yet."

Mario grinned behind his wine goblet. "I asked Claudia if she'd rather move to another branch location, like Granada perhaps, if she dislikes him so. But she'd rather stay, the better to keep an eye on him!"

"I trust Claudia will sniff out any corruption that might come up," Ezio said, smiling at her.

"You should have just named Claudia as Mentor," Sofia said.

"I was very very close to doing so!" Ezio said. "But Messere Ariosto has political ties that will prove useful."

"Whereas I, a mere woman, do not," Claudia said with over-exaggerated sorrow.

"Whereas you are my dear sister, and people would say I only favored you due to being your family," Ezio said seriously.

"Lodovico is old," Mario said, "you can take his place when he kicks off."

Claudia laughed. "No, no, it is all right. I'm very content being Head Treasurer."

"And you train the novices in blades still, don't you?" Ezio asked.

She nodded. "The boys usually underestimate me when we first meet. The look on their faces when they are bested by a fifty-year-old woman!" A classic grin spread over her face.

"Are you not fifty-two now, sister?"

"Nothing is true," she said. "Especially a woman's age."

"How is your daughter, Flora?" Sofia asked.

"Oh, she's wonderful. Her skill with a spear is unmatched!"

"Does Corvo still duel her?" Ezio asked. The mercenary Corvo Antonelli was Claudia's husband, having married her a couple years after being inducted into the Order.

"Every few months he makes an attempt. She goes easy on him, but she still wins."

"The only force stronger than an Auditore man is an Auditore woman," Mario said sagely.

Claudia's smile grew warmer. "That's very true."

"I thought that nothing was true," Ezio said.

Claudia swatted his arm with her napkin.

 

* * *

 

When the food was finished and the dishes were all cleared away and clean, Mario cleared his throat and spoke up again. "Signora Sofia, to answer your question of anatomy, I will try not to be too crude."

"Go on, then," Sofia said, folding her hands on the table. "The method of delivery in Auditore men is?"

"It is- similar to the usual."

"Really? How is that?"

"Heh, you see, when Ezio nears the date of confinement.... his 'sword' will become a 'scabbard'."

"Oh?" Sofia looked to her right and met Ezio's eyes.

Ezio shifted in his chair. "Yes, that's what it says in my Nonnos' journals."

"And that's what happened to Giovanni several days before Petruccio's birth."

Sofia leaned a bit closer to Ezio. "So... you will have a vulva."

"Just temporarily. My manhood will return afterward," Ezio assured, patting her hand. "As strong as ever, if not even stronger for going through such duress."

Claudia stood up. "Now I am the one feeling sick." She walked outside briskly.

Mario chuckled. "As long as your sister is not listening," he said, leaning in toward them, "I should tell you that the strength of your manhood may also increase and decrease while carrying the child within you."

"Come è che?" Sofia asked.

Mario made a sort of "oh, you know/who knows" gesture. "For some reason, as one's body responds to the changes of pregnancy, one's level of desire is affected, quite unpredictably." After a pause, he added, "This applies to all pregnant persons; it is not Auditore specific."

"You certainly know quite a bit of the details, Messere Mario," Sofia said. "Have you carried a child yourself?"

"Not through to the finish, no," he said, shaking his head. "But I have learned much from the writings of my fathers and Malik."

"Oh, who is Malik?"

"Malik al-Sayf, an Arab Assassin from some centuries ago. He was an associate of Grandmaster Altaïr." Mario smiled. "Actually, closer than an associate. In later life, they became as family."

"Incredibile. So the al-Sayf line also had men who fell pregnant?" asked Ezio.

"Ah no, but Altaïr's line did," responded Mario. He chuckled again, at the surprise on Sofia and Ezio's faces. "I was quite shocked to learn it too!"

"I walked that man's own memories and yet I didn't know this," Ezio said, astounded.

Mario went on. "Monteriggioni hosted visitors from the Arab peninsula last year, and, knowing that we have the Grandmaster's Codex in our library, they added to our collection some very interesting scrolls penned by his right-hand man."

"So there are other families who have this," Ezio murmured, rubbing his beard. "Or one other family, at least."

"And both families within the Assassins," noted Sofia.

"It seems somehow connected to our organization, according to Altaïr's line of reasoning. However, my friends Sayyid and Qasim believed the scrolls to be satirical fiction," Mario said with another smile. "The pregnancy as some commentary on Altaïr's gender politics or masculinity, and the outlandish sexual escapades indicating his lack of self-control, or his distance from social norms."

"Did you convince them it was a true story?" Sofia asked.

"Mi dispiace, I did not really try too much." Mario inclined his head apologetically.

"If I were in your place, I probably would not have either, zio," Ezio said, chuckling.

 

* * *

 

**1197**

**Excerpt from the writings of Malik al-Sayf**

_He called me into his bed again last night, claiming that his wife alone could not satisfy his heightened libido. What else could I do but agree? Otherwise he might call for some other man to help tend to him. I don't think I could abide that._

_Oh, and by all the stars in the sky, he is somehow still able to perform, even with that melon-size belly full of child! As I entered, he was lapping at Maria's hairy fountain, making her sing with joy. When he heard my footfalls, he got up and kissed me while undoing my robes. He and his wife were both nude and glistening with sweat, and I wondered how long they had been going already._

_He clasped our shafts together in one oiled hand and stroked them, still kissing me. I heard Maria's heavy breathing as she lay spent on the pillows, seemingly glad to have a minute of respite. Altaïr certainly is a whirlwind of a man._

_My shaft bumped on his belly with each bounce of his hand upward. When he wasn't kissing me, he was speaking in a rush of Arabic and some other language. I asked him to explain, and Maria said it was Greek. How did he learn Greek? I might ask him sometime, but I suspect it might be the same way he learned to make the thing he called "gun"._

_He grunted Greek at me for a while until his seed erupted, a splash of white over his beautiful sunset skin. I had not reached my peak yet when he let go, gasping, falling onto the pillows. I scowled at him._

_He lifted his seed with his fingers and began to lick it in an obscene display. The mound of his belly was bisected with a darker line traveling up from loins to navel, accenting the curve. Damn him for being so attractive under his fancy robes. Sometimes it makes up for everything else._

_I remember asking him, "Are you done with me now, then?" And he said, "No, not by a mile," or similar words to that meaning. He beckoned me over and laid on his side, saying he wanted- or needed- to be penetrated._

_I laid behind him and wet myself with spit before entering, roughly and quick. He liked it though, judging by his noises. "Malik, my dear," he said, and went on with lurid pillow-talk that I don't want to record here. One would not think him a romantic man, from the way he acts usually. But I see his hidden aspects. It is a privilege, I suppose. Perhaps he shows me himself in full to atone for past wrongdoings._

_Afterward, he took my hand and put it on his navel to feel the child's movement. He said, as he has said before, that the child is of my seed. I do not know if I believe this. Surely a child can only be formed from the union of male and female? I had thought my knowledge of such things to be complete, but that was before Altaïr's body swelled with his unborn._

_He kept stroking his belly, smiling like a man drugged. "We the Assassins are blessed, so blessed," he said. "It is not every Assassin who carries a child for his wife," I told him, and he said, "But it is only Assassins who can do this, we who have the eyes of the eagle."_

_Then he kissed Maria for a long while and I went to clean myself. When I passed by him again he was telling her a story of someone named Kassandra. I had not heard this story before, so I sat and listened. This Kassandra was a great warrior like himself, and also boastful and stubborn like himself, so it is no surprise that he should admire her. He spoke of her travels and fights against great beasts and powerful people, and he said she was favored by "the gods"._

_"You blaspheme. There is no god but the one Allāh," I told him. And he answered that these were not true gods, but Precursors. He believes in such entities. I think perhaps they are malā'ikah, or shayāṭīn. He thinks they are something else. He treads the line of blasphemy quite often._

_He continued with the tale of Kassandra. Among her great feats, he told us she bore a child for her wife, without a man's seed, and he said, "It was possible because she had the eyes of the eagle. We have–_

[SCROLL IS DAMAGED]

_– of Kassandra?" I asked. He said he was given a vision by that Apple. So I told him, "You should stop looking into other times. The unfolding of future events is only for Allāh to know." And he said it was allowed because these events were already long ago. "It is no more forbidden to know her story than to know the outcome of a past war," he said. I dropped the subject. I am no perfect Muslim myself. Perhaps no Assassin is._

_Altaïr began to put his robes back on. But in the midst of that, he shivered with pain, and Maria asked him if the child was coming. He said, "No, it will not be today. But soon. My body is preparing."_

_Then he looked at me and asked if I want to decide its name, as Maria had decided the name of Darim. I said no. To this he responded that he will name it after me. What an ass. "When you yell 'Malik!' how will we know if you mean me or my son?" I asked. And he said, "Very wise. Then I will name him Sayf." I said, "An unusual name. But we live unusual lives. It is fitting, I think."_

_"What if you have a daughter?" Maria asked. "Then her name will be Safia, to honor both you and Malik," Altaïr said. He kissed her again, and then he kissed me, and then he said, "But I believe he will be a son." And he looked at me and grinned and said "Although I have not looked into the future to be certain." And this made me laugh. He has an uncanny gift for making me laugh when I least expect it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> malā'ikah - angels in Islam  
> shayāṭīn - devils/demons in Islam


	5. "È forse imprudente?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ubisoft: jacob is bisexual and ned is trans  
> me: okay but what if Jacob and Ned are Both Bi And Trans. also Ezio's Bi and Yusuf's Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I said Leo would show up here, but he's actually in the next bit uwu,,,, hope y'all enjoy anyway!

Ezio awoke early in the morning the following day. Sofia was deep asleep beside him. He smiled at her and pressed a light kiss to her hair.

When he lifted the curtain from a window, the golden rays of the sun were only just beginning to spill over the faraway horizon. Seeing the olive trees and grapevines in their neat rows pleased Ezio. The olive trees were a recent addition. They were still quite small and not harvestable yet, but he had no doubt that in a few years he would have a good crop to supplement the wine sales.

 _A growing income, to support a growing family_.

He slipped on light trousers and shoes, and went out to inspect the field. Up close, the plants sparkled with dew, glistening on deep green leaves and purple grapes swollen with juice. He popped some of them in his mouth; the sweet wet bursts a delight to his tongue.

He turned his face toward the sunny sky. "Ah, I am so blessed to have this wonderful life." Struck by a sudden thought, he knelt, and folded his hands in a quick prayer. "Dio, ti supplico, lascia che tutto continui così bene. Let my child grow well and be born strong and healthy. Amen."

The wind passed gently over him, blowing his hair about. A soft voice came with the wind. "Ezio? Eziooo?"

"I am here, love!" Ezio called. He began trying to stand up, but his knees began to protest in pain, as if the nerves were pinched by the bones. "Ah, cazzo, cazzo," he muttered, and flopped to lay on his back, watching the faraway figure of Sofia come closer.

Sofia saw him having trouble and came faster, lifting the skirt of her dress as she sped up. "Ezio, goodness, are you all right?"

"Just my knees, love. I stopped to pray and then, oof!" With some help from his wife's strong arms, he was able to make it to his feet again. "Usually I only have that sort of pain when a rainstorm is imminent. Perhaps the child makes my body-" He was cut short by surprise when a heavy droplet of water spatted onto his forehead.

Another dozen drops came soon after, and a rumble of thunder in the distance. "There's your rainstorm!" Sofia said, grinning and pulling him back towards the house. They got quite wet, but they didn't mind, as it gave them an excuse to get out of their clothes together when they got back to the master bedroom.

 

* * *

 

**1870**

Ned and Jacob were having a fun old time this night, as they did several nights a week. Sometimes they wouldn't do anything fancy, just lick and stroke each other's bits. But tonight, as often, they both wanted more.

And so Ned had put on his special contraption with his prized ivory cock, and was currently thrusting away at Jacob's pranny.

Jacob bloody loved it, the way Ned's cock filled him up, the way the little ridges nudged his nerves when they were fucking just at the right angle.

Ned loved the way the base of the ivory knob pressed into his flesh knob, and the way Jacob looked beneath him, sweating and gasping in delight.

"Fuck, Ned, you're so good," Jacob panted, hooking his legs around his lover's thighs. "Just a little bit... more, hnng, oh god, oh _bloody fuck yes!_ " He tossed his head back against the pile of pillows and let out a sound that was half-whine and half-yell.

Jacob had put on some noticeable weight around the middle in the past few months, but Ned thought he was still as gorgeous as ever. His climax face was absolutely divine. Ned pulled out and straddled one of Jacob's legs, humping it gently to try and get himself to the peak too.

"Lemme, lemme help you," Jacob stammered, gulping in air between words. He pulled Ned down atop him and took hold of Ned's cock, rubbing it into his nub like a pestle into a mortar.

"Ahh, yeah, right there-there-ah-ah yes, _Jacob, yes!_ " Ned's spine stiffened and a small spurt of hot fluid joined what was already there between his legs. "Oh god. Yes..." Ned fanned his face with one hand. His heart was chugging like a runaway train, and here against Jacob's chest he could feel Jacob's heart was doing the same.

...And then he felt something else. Something lower down. Something in Jacob's stomach.

"J-Jacob?" he said quietly. "What just moved?"

"Blimey, I felt it too," Jacob said, not as quietly. His eyes had gone from peacefully closed in the afterglow to wide open. "By god, I don't know."

The movement happened again, and Ned stood up quickly, backing a fair bit away. "Are you about to fart? I screwed you **that** hard?"

"No, Ned, no, it's... it's something solid, I think." Jacob sat up and pressed a palm over his gut, which was rounded with the weight he'd gained recently.

Seeing Jacob take that pose sparked something in Ned's brain. "Oh shit! Oh shit, Jacob!" He rushed back to his boyfriend and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Did someone else screw you?"

"What?! No! It's only been you, why would you think-"

"Because Jacob I think you're goddamn _pregnant_."

 

* * *

 

**1512**

That afternoon, Mario and Claudia had decided to go into town for some needed items, since they would be staying a bit. Sofia had given them a few florins to pick up anti-nausea remedy for Ezio while they were out.

"What kind of remedy will it be?" Ezio asked her as his uncle and sister rode off. "I don't want anything that could poison the baby?"

"Non preoccuparti, it is something I know many women make use of in pregnancy," she answered. "It is mainly made of ginger root."

Ezio relaxed visibly. "Of course. My dear wife," he pulled her close, "has so much broad knowledge from all of her book reading, of course she knows the correct remedies for things such as this."

She smiled, and they went back into the villa, to their library which featured a soft sofa and a lit fireplace. "If you would like, I can bring you the books I have on childbearing medicine."

"I would like that, yes," Ezio said. He sat down and watched her search the shelves for a bit. "Ehm..."

She turned. "Che?"

"Sofia... Is it perhaps unwise? To bring a baby into the world at my age?" He was scratching at his head with one hand and touching his stomach with the other. "What if I pass away while he is still very young?"

"You are in good health, mio amore," Sofia said.

"I am right now," Ezio said, looking somber. "But the body is a fragile thing. I should have started a family decades ago. If only I hadn't been so busy with Brotherhood affairs."

"Oh but decades ago you did not have me," said Sofia, embracing him.

Ezio smiled a tiny bit. "Si, I did not. I had other women, but none of them rose to the level of wife."

"Well, I am glad for that," said Sofia, smiling. "Or else I could still be lonely in my bookshop."

Ezio returned the hug and softly pulled her to sit down beside him. "Mio amore," he said, "you are a beautiful and wonderful person. You would have found someone."

Sofia shook her head in happy disagreement. "I don't think any other man on the Earth could bring me such fulfillment as you have. There have been some who wanted to court me, but they were swine at heart."

"Ah, mio amore." He kissed the side of her face. "I know; many men lose all manners and respect when they are filled with lust. I've had to beat a few lessons into the heads of those swine."

"But there are some good men in the world, thankfully."

"Si, some. But it seems easier to find a good woman than a good man." He was quiet a few moments, and then asked, "Sofia... did you ever have thoughts of partnering with a woman?"

Sofia was surprised by the question, and she took a little pause before answering.

While he waited through the silence, Ezio was very aware of his own thudding heartbeat.

Finally, she answered, "I wouldn't say that I have, no. Though I have read of such practices. The followers of Sappho."

"Mi dispiace. I know it is taboo. I should not speak of things like that now that I-"

Sofia interrupted, almost rolling her eyes. "Ezio, please, you may speak of whatever you wish. Crude words have no power to destroy society."

Ezio seemed to cheer up a bit at that.

"And besides, there are many much worse things a person could do than make love to their own sex."

Ezio nodded. "Sì, that is certainly true."

"For example, your friend Messere da Vinci. He prefers the company of men, and still remains a quite wonderful artist and philosopher. And also Messere Tazim, who was a great warrior and all-around quality man. It does not indicate any moral failing, not at all."

"I am glad we are of the same mind on this." Ezio laughed, and squeezed his arm around her lightly. "All right." He squeezed her a bit firmer. "Since you mention Leonardo, I was going to tell you... I had thoughts at some times, that perhaps if I had not had Assassin duties taking me all over Europe... I might have stayed with him."

Again, Sofia was surprised. "Stayed with him... as a lover?"

"Yes," Ezio said, smiling shyly.

"Ezio the renowned womanizer, would have been a man's husband?"

"Does the idea disgust you?"

"It only confuses me somewhat."

Ezio leaned back in the couch. "I am renowned as a womanizer, si, but in truth, there are also some men who have drawn my interest.... I am sorry to upset you with this knowledge. Perhaps the affliction of pregnancy has made my tongue too loose."

After some seconds of thought, Sofia said, "Leonardo is a good man. He would make a good husband for anyone, I believe."

Ezio felt truly blessed again. He had thought she might have pulled away from him in disgust when he revealed these thoughts. "But you know that I love you deeply, Sofia. You know that, don't you? No matter how many men have caught my eyes-"

She touched his lips to silence him. "Ezio, amore, I already know you have courted many many women before wedding me. Why should I be suddenly jealous to know there were some men as well?"

"And one time, a traveling courtesan who claimed to be of neither sex," he said through a smile.

Sofia laughed. "Oh, is that like the 'third sex' mentioned in _Kama Sutra_?"

"They were not Indian, but perhaps."

"It could easily be a global phenomenon. Perhaps you are third sex as well," Sofia offered, "seeing as how you can carry children."

Ezio scoffed lightly. "I am not part woman simply for doing what women do. You may just as wrongly say Claudia is part man for being such a fighter."

"True, true." Sofia ran her hands over his head. "You are so philosophical. Our child will surely grow up very thoughtful and wise."

"Thanks in no small part to you as well!" Ezio kissed her again, and hugged her again. He could never get enough of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dio, ti supplico, lascia che tutto continui così bene." - "God, I beseech you, let everything continue this well."  
> "pranny" - mid-to-late 1800s term for vagina/vulva


	6. "Sei tu, non è vero?"

**1512**

It was a few weeks later that Ezio received a letter from Leonardo. The artist-inventor had a habit of writing to Ezio and Sofia regularly: at least thrice a year. He was living in Milan now, in Lombardy in the north. Ezio had not seen him in many years.

 _Mio caro amico,_ the letter began. _I hope the weather is as mild for you in Tuscany as it is for me here. When I am not engaged with commissions, I have been working on more anatomical sketches. This work makes me recall memories of those times you would bring me some livestock you had slaughtered, for me to study._

Ezio grinned, though he had tears in his eyes as well. "This is a code word, Sofia," he said as he was reading the letter to her. "They were not livestock, they were Templar agents. Leo is just being careful in case his letter is intercepted."

Sofia giggled conspiratorially.

_Many of my acquaintances are urging that I should do a self-portrait. Ah, but I have lost my boyish good looks, mio amico! I could not bear to immortalize my appearance as it is now; my face has lost its smartness; my hair is thinning and has gotten much lighter in color than when you last saw me. But I suppose the same is probably true for you!_

Ezio chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "It is lighter, sì, but not very thin."

"You are blessed with a very gentle aging process," Sofia said with a smile, putting her hand on his arm to caress it.

"Oh, but you have never seen me in my prime, Sofia!"

She giggled again and kissed his cheek. "You are prime enough for me right now, amore."

He took her chin gently in his hand and returned the kiss upon her lips.

She kissed him back, warmly, stroking his bearded cheek.

Ezio truly loved his wife's kisses. They were sweeter than wine and much more intoxicating. He smiled into the kiss and pressed in once more before drawing back. "Ah, I wish I could go and see Leonardo. I know he would love to meet you, amore mio."

"You mustn't," Claudia said, having overheard from where she was preparing vegetables for tonight's stew. "There is talk of some Templar activity recently in Milan; it would not be safe now, with the baby."

"I know, sì," sighed Ezio. He returned to reading the letter. "Oh! Aha!" He glanced skyward. "The good Lord must have heard my wish." He looked back at the letter, where Leonardo had written in a different-colored ink _Caro Ezio, I misplaced this paper amongst some others before I remembered to finish and send it. Some days have passed now and I have heard from your agents in town that there is some political unrest brewing, so I think I will come pay your villa a visit. It will be good to finally meet your Sofia, after all this time reading how you sing her praises_.

_I should arrive within a week or so after this letter reaches you. Best wishes to you and your family until we meet._

As he finished reading out the letter, Ezio had a huge smile, so huge one might think the scar on his lip would split open again. "My oldest dearest friend, coming to meet me after so many years. I cannot wait!"

 

* * *

 

**1870**

 

"I swear I haven't been to bed with anyone else, Ned," Jacob said, taking his hand off his stomach and moving it to cross his heart. "I swear on my mother's grave."

Ned's eyes bugged out. "Fuck, please don't mention your mother's grave right now." He knew Cecily Frye had died in childbirth, but the fact had never bothered him very much until just this moment.

"Okay then, I swear on her _soul_ , on my _father's_ grave, I swear on anything you want, Ned, truly!"

"How the _fuck_ are you _pregnant_ , then?"

Jacob swallowed. "Well maybe I'm not, maybe it's just some buggery illness?"

"Lemme feel again." Ned approached the bed and pressed both palms flat to Jacob's gut. "Have you missed a period?"

"Missed a... Well, no. Or somewhat no."

Ned glared at him. "What the fuck is 'somewhat no' supposed to mean?"

"En't ever had a period."

Ned blinked, then frowned. "How the hell did you manage that?"

"I'unno. Figured I was just lucky." Jacob shifted his weight. "Can you let me get some clothes on or something? Uncomfortable like this right now."

"Alright, I guess- Oh!" Ned drew in a quick breath. Something about Jacob's shifted position had shifted the contents of his insides too. "Fuck. That's sure something which isn't usually in there."

Jacob's face cringed. "Like what, what does it feel like?"

"Hold on a few more seconds." Ned pressed his hands in a bit further. "Fuck," he said again, softer. With a bit of imagination, he could figure this hard shape was a tiny skull. "That.... that's a little head."

A nervous laugh escaped Jacob. "Is there any illness that makes an extra head grow inside one's gut?"

Opting not to answer that, Ned moved his hands downward slowly. He felt a motion, similar to the ones from before. "Oh god, and that's a little foot. You really _fucking_ are pregnant, Jacob," he said, just loud enough for his boyfriend to hear.

Jacob was blown into silence for some moments.

Ned's arms were slightly shaky as he felt around for the baby's different parts. He muttered under his breath, half-unintelligible. "God, I swear... if someone... son of a bitch..."

Jacob breathed a deep and slow breath. _Maybe it's... some miracle? So I can carry on the Frye family name?_ "Sweetheart," he said, placing his hand on Ned's shoulder. "Congratulations. We're going to be fathers."

"Oh fuck off," Ned spat, moving away again. He unstrapped the contraption with his ivory cock and started heading to the water-closet. "Go on, get dressed. We need to see the doctor."

 

* * *

 

**1512**

 

When Leonardo arrived at the villa, delivered by a horse-drawn carriage and accompanied by many crates of luggage, Ezio and Sofia were outside grooming the horses together. Ezio was the first to spot him, and dashed over.

"Careful, Ezio!" Sofia called as she followed him at a more reasonable speed.

"Oh there is no need to be careful!" Leonardo said through a huge grin as Ezio embraced him tightly. "I may be aged but I am not going to break in half from a mere hug!"

"That is not why I'm worried; I expect Ezio will soon explain," Sofia said, brushing horsehairs off her dress.

"Yes, yes, I'm about to tell him right now!" Ezio said cheerily. "Or as soon as we are alone," he added under his breath, watching the hired carriage-hands unload Leonardo's belongings.

"Oh, sensitive information, is it?" Leonardo inquired quietly.

"Yes, indeed." With all they had been through, they were close as brothers- closer even!- and Leonardo certainly kept the secrets of the Assassins safe enough, even through kidnap and duress. There was no doubt in Ezio's mind that Leonardo could also keep this odd pregnancy a secret.

"Well first, perhaps you could introduce me to this lovely signora?"

"Ah sì!" Ezio let go of Leo's hands and went to put his arm around Sofia's shoulders. "Leonardo, this is my amazing wife, Sofia, of the house Sartor of Venice."

"A pleasure to finally meet you, Messer da Vinci," Sofia said.

"Oh, no need to be this formal! You may just call me Leonardo!" He kissed her cheeks briefly in greeting, then turned to the carriage-man to give him the last of his payment due. As the horse and carriage rode off, Leonardo turned back to Ezio. "So, what is this great secret?"

"Well, mi amico. This may seem strange, but...." Ezio's mouth seemed dry and his heart racing all of a sudden as Leonardo looked at him expectantly. "Leo... how much do you know of the... bodily process of pregnancy?"

Leonardo had not expected something like this. He paused a second for thought. "I have read Aristotle's _On the Generation of Animals_. But I have not really delved deeply into the subject. You should look elsewhere for a midwife." He patted Ezio's arm jovially. "Congratulations, though!"

"Eh he heh. Grazie, but you see-"

"What? Is it not you and Sofia whom-"

"Yes it is, but also somewhat no. Not in the way you think."

Leonardo blinked, curiosity shining in his eyes.

"I will need a very open-minded midwife, one who can keep a quite unusual secret."

A quick laugh popped from Leonardo. "Ha-ha, you've had an affair, is that it? And Sofia agreed to raise the baby as her own, goodness, she's a sweetheart."

"Leonardo, no, what's happened is..." Ezio rubbed gently over his stomach while he pondered.

But Leonardo noticed, and saved him the trouble. "Oh!! Dio mio, Ezio, it's you!" the artist-scientist said gushingly. "It's _you_ , isn't it?!"

"It is me, amico," said Ezio with a small nod. "In the family Auditore-"

"Oh you need not explain, messere Ezio! It is like with your father, I should have remembered sooner!"

Ezio blinked at him. "My father told you?"

"Your mother did, actually, and hired me to design special clothing to conceal his growth." Leonardo's eyes turned hazy with nostalgia. "Although he did not have as much growth as was expected."

"So Petruccio was a scricciolo, even before birth. It doesn't surprise me," Ezio said. A tiny smile played on his lips, and his eyes grew wet.

 

* * *

 

**1870**

 

Jacob knew of three- well no, _four_ things in this world that most people didn't understand: souls born into conflicting bodies, men who made love to other men, women who made love to other women, and the Templar-Assassin war. Luckily, there was a doctor affiliated with the Rooks who knew of all these things and understood, and he was who they went to that night when they began to suspect it.

Dr. Hu, a man in his fifties with short dusty black hair on his head and a long mustache on his lip, had been almost to sleep when Ned rapped on his door, and nearly didn't answer, until Ned yelled that it was quite important, and he finally came to meet them and led them into his exam room.

Still, despite his prior knowledge, Dr. Hu was a bit taken aback when Jacob explained the situation. "And you've not been with any other man than Ned?" he asked, dark eyes squinting in skepticism.

"Absolutely not," Jacob said, slapping the table.

"Calm down lad, I just- just got to reconcile this," the doctor mumbled, stepping one step back. "Is there any night you can't remember, perhaps due to drink?"

"No, no, I've been avoiding the stuff. Evie said a while back I might start to get a beer gut. So I don't drink anymore, at least not much." Jacob barked a little laugh and touched his stomach. "Now I got a gut of a different type, don't I?"

Dr. Hu ruffled his mustache with a finger, thinking. "All right." He turned to a shelf and pulled a brown glass beaker from the mess on it. "You'll need to make water into this and give it back. Then I'll run a test, find out for absolute sure if you're expecting."

"I reckon you don't need any test other than to feel it kicking," Jacob said with a grin, pulling his shirt up to expose the swell.

"Jacob," Ned groaned, "please just do as he says."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a scene written where Jacob puts on a dress in preparation to go out to a non-Rook-affiliated doctor, but I decided against it in the end.
> 
>  _Glossary_  
>  "some buggery illness" - In addition to "buggery" meaning anal sex or any other taboo sex act, it also can function as an adjective/intensifier, so here the phrase means "some extreme illness".  
> "scricciolo" - slang for a small person (e.g. "shrimp")

**Author's Note:**

> flames will be used to warm my house


End file.
